Is it horrible that I have so much homework I never want to write in my journal? i mean I get done with it and i am just sick of writing.

I used to love writing in my off line diary!

I will try to post more updates and be more active.

So remember that hot guy I was telling you about at church? Well...he hasn't been in church the past two weeks! Like, the only GOOD thing about going and he isn't even there! I did find out his name is Chris though lol.

There havent been as many kids coming to our door for halloween this year. :( I always enjoyed seeing their costumes. 

Hey everyone.

Sorry I haven't written in awhile but I got grounded. :( My step dad and I got into a screaming match and yeah...

Why was I grounded? Remember how he bribed me to go to church? Well...I thought that was only for that one sunday but it turns out he meant every sunday now!

So yeah, we yelled A LOT and he grounded me for a month! Ugh no computer and extra chores...

Hope everyone is doing ok!

Haven't written in a few days. Just been busy and stuff.

Sunday was interesting. So, as I said before, my dad pretty much bribed me to go to church Sunday. He's really religious and has been wanting me to go...so yeah. I don't really like church, I most certainly don't like the dressing up part for it! My step dads church has a dress code for modesty or something, for example men must be wearing ties and women aren't allowed to wear pants.

I haven't been to church for years so it was a bit weird to see it all again. Apparently just recently the church "modernized" and allowed women to not wear head coverings in church! I almost felt weird because I was one of the few females without a hat of some sort on. It seemed like everyone who was over 30 or so had one on.

My step dad was really happy I went though. Even I was happy I went because I saw one of the hottest guys I've EVER seen there. Pretty sandy blonde hair and beautiful baby blue eyes. OMG he was sooo hot! I pretty much just paid attention to him during the entire service lol. Granted he didn't even notice me but I noticed him. Haha wow I am lusting after a boy I saw in church! Hopefully I learn his name so I don't keep calling him that hot boy at church lol.

So I guess I am going back next sunday...never thought I'd say that! My step dad and mom are happy though.

I have a headache :(

Current Mood: sick

The mall was fun today! Although, I must say, people look at you differently when you are still dressed in your school uniform. It's like...hello haven't you ever seen someone in a uniform before?? Old men are the worst, just the way their eyes look at you. It's creepy.

I was able to convince my step dad to give me $60 to go shopping with! But, I gotta go to church this sunday so that is sort of blah. Stupid bribes!

So, with the $60 I was able to buy a couple pairs of Sunglasses, a pair of jeans, and two shirts from Forever 21. I freakin love that store sooo much.

Also


1. Leave me a comment saying anything random, like your favorite lyric to your current favorite song. Or your favorite kind of sandwich. Something random. whatever you like.
2. I respond by asking you five [sort of] personal questions so I can get to know you better.
3. You will update your lj with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and offer to ask someone else in the post.
5. When others comment asking to be asked, you will ask them five questions.

the_heartless_x (I dunno how to make it link to your name?) asked me five questions

1. Favorite time of day?

When school ends or the nighttime. In the summer I'd loved looking up at the sky and stargazing.

2. Ever had an imaginary friend? If so, what was its name?

Never had one. If I did I assume it'd be a boy and his name would be Bob lol.

3. Favorite song?

"The Math" by Hilary Duff

4. If you could be any where right now, where would you be and why?

Back in South Carolina, where I lived before I moved.

5. Biggest fear?

Probably dying alone.


Or if you want to ask me more questions go ahead!

Current Mood: chipper

School is going ok, aside from all the stupid rules. I've met a lot of cool girls so that is good. I haven't seen a lesbian yet either! There does seem to be more homework though :(

Most of the girls don't really seem to have a problem with the uniform. A lot have been wearing uniforms their entire life so they aren't as annoyed as I am. Although we all think the rules about no shorts is ridiculous though.

Angela, one of my new friends, and I are going to the mall after school tomorrow. Her mother is taking us and hopefully my parents will give me some money to shop with. They should!

I also am still trying to get used to getting up so early in the morning for school again.

In my old journal, as dumb as this sounds, I'd write about all the guys I had crushes on. God that sounds so pathetic! But I do miss looking at them in school all the same. As pathetic as it is I've never had a real boyfriend...and now I am not even sure how I will meet boys. Like, I dunno...I had a few guys ask me out in middle school but I'd always be too scared to say yes. Not sure why that would be any different now.

Ahh i suck.

Current Mood: okay

So begins my high school life I guess...

In the morning, after my shower, I went to my closet and dug out my uniform. I'd only tried it on before, for like 10 seconds, and looking at it made me sick. I can't even remember the last time I wore a skirt...uhh 8th grade graduation I think? So yeah...ugh. As I put the stupid thing on I felt humilated to be wearing such a thing. When I looked at myself in the mirror I almost cried! My uniform looks so ridiculous...I think the knee socks are the most outlandish part of it.

So after my dressing ordeal I head downstairs for breakfast and have to deal with my family. My step dad...ugh...starts commenting about how I finally look like a girl and won't shut up about it. It's like...ok so I don't wear skirts why does that make me any less of a girl? I don't look like a boy so I don't get it! My step brother was laughing as well....grrr I wish he had to wear this thing!

After dealing with family stuff, taking pictures and getting a ride to school from my step dad I finally step foot inside my prison for the next four years. It's weird to see everyone dressed practically the same.

The first thing I learned was how many rules this school has. It's a lot different from public schools! Home room was practically all about the rules today.

One of the absurd rules is we aren't allowed to wear shorts under our skirts. Apparently everyone wore shorts under their skirts and the were not being "modest" as the school called it. I don't understand how not wearing shorts under our skirts is more modest...seems less to me! So if you get caught wearing shorts you get an inschool suspension...lame.

Also apparently there were a lot of lesbian relationships at the school. If the school even suspects you of being a lesbian now you are expelled! Getting pregnant is another reason for being expelled. Even having sex with a boy is grounds for being expelled. How they'd know about that I have no clue! Idile threats?

But I did meet a lot of new people and make a few new friends. One girl, Angela, and I talked a lot about our lives. She's been going to private schools her entire life so it was fun to trade stories about the differences between the two. She doesn't live that far from me either so yay! lol

Current Mood: calm

So I felt like crap yesterday and today I started my period. It's early...by almost a week. My mom said it's normal cuz i haven't had my period for long and my cycle will be irregular but I dunno. Maybe it's stress? I am stressed about school!

Ugh periods suck! I really don't want to have to wear a pad a week before my period just in case.

My step brother got a Nintendo WII though and that has been fun to play. He always beats me at tennis lol. BUT I beat him at bowling a few times! I love bowling and it's so much more amazing how I am better at the video game version than doing it in real life haha.

Current Mood: gloomy

Ugh got woken up by a nightmare and now I can't get back to sleep. :( I am going to try and go back to sleep soon I think...I hope!

Seriously, this dream was soooo scary. It seemed almost real it was that creepy. I was running from a mob of people, they all had chains and stuff and they kept chanting my name. I fell down and the all grabbed me and started to pull me apart. Ugh I know that sounds weird and a bit crazy but it felt so real.

Guess I am gonna try to get back to sleep.

I've enjoyed reading everyones journal! Thanks for adding me!

Current Mood: tired

So I finally decided to get an internet journal thingy. I'd been thinking about it for awhile, as a way to not have a written journal laying around, and after my mom found...AND READ my journal I decided doing this gives me more privacy.

Today my mom and I went shopping for school supplies. School starts next week and I am dreading it. I am going to be starting high school but not just any high school. Oh no! An all girls school. :( Uniforms and everything. I hate it already!

This is all my step dads idea. He thinks I'm to much of a tom boy and going to an all girls school will be good for me. HAHAHA NO! It's going to be torture!

I wish my mom had never married him. We've moved and now he is making me do this. He is crazy and said he wants me to start going to church as well! Ugh. Originally it was my choice not to go but he seems to have changed his mind and my moms is just going along with him. They havven't even been married a year and he wants to run my life!

Current Mood: aggravated